Sometimes you clip your fingernails with a spider on your waist, a pitbull at your feet, and a snarling member of the oppostite sex on the phone all while "Take a load off Annie" reverberates off of the cookware you don't use, claps of thunder fizzle your eardrum like alka-seltzer and lightning sears your cornea.

The postman always rings twice* and bill collectors never call on Sunday.

*Except today because who really wants to deliver express mail on a sunday to people who aren't home, don't want to be bothered, or didn't know that any mail came on Sunday anyway.