Honorable mentions

Two other things that happened after the scarf scene but before the bachelor party:
I arrived home to find a copy of Sports Illustrated Latino adressed to "Ice Man" in my mailbox. My address, just adressed to "Ice Man". Not long after I call several people asking if they are responsible for such a prank I get a picture message on my phone. It was an empty toilet paper roll and the text read "Definition of a bad day."
That was from an 801 area code so I will have to wait for Robert Stack to host a new episode for any information.

Over the river and through the woods.........

Saturday........the day when most people sleep in, scurry around at Target, do things around the house, and just generally marinate. Not me! Mine started of with waking early (around 9am) with an overall woozy feeling. The night before, my friend Meathead and I went to Mix in Long Branch to have some adult beverages. On the way there, his car was howling like Teen Wolf and he also made note that he needed to change his rear brakes. So he calls me Saturday and I get dressed accordingly. We did some "typical" Saturday things- went to Auto Zone, and then to his grandmother's house (to work on the car). As we were desacrating one of the rotors with a lump hammer, grandma came out and offered us coffee- which I ironically don't drink.....EVER. So Meathead (or "Stevie" as she calls him haha) enthusiastically replied "Yeah" at the top of his lungs so that she could hear him. I wasn't still smashing the rotor, you just have to speak up for grandma to hear what you're saying. A short time later there I was, dragging my feet explaining to "Stevie" that I really don't drink coffee. As I entered the house, my nails were scraping and breaking off into the wall just like the intro to Texas Chainsaw Massacre. On the table were thee two biggest cups of coffee I had ever seen(they looked like bowls with a small handle attatched) and a plate with big chunks of mozzarella cheese and four very tiny cookies. "Stevie" took the liberty of digging in and was halted by the fact that the cheese was frozen! Meathead just barely rescued the cookies before grandma put the plate in the microwave. Now as I daydreamed looking into my reservoir of caffeinated bliss it dawned on me that the plate was in there for quite sometime. I blinked my eyes and low and behold there was an Uncle Buck sized cheese pancake in front of me. By this point grandma had taken quite a liking to me (to the point where Stevie was cut off and I was fed more cheese than him) and referred to me as "Hun" and said I was a doll. Cheese, sip, laugh, repeat; it was like my own version of Requiem For A Dream. So we finished the job on the car and talked to grandma for a few before leaving. As we were backing out of the driveway grandma ordered me inside. I complied and "Stevie" asked if I wanted him to accompany me to which I said, "I got my gun, what's the worst that could happen?!" Grandma rips the drawer attatched to the kitchen table open and hands me a carefully weaved yarn configuration. "Go ahead try it on!" It was too big to be a hankerchief and too small to be a blanket so I did the logical thing and put it around my neck. With my mind in overdrive due to my overdose of caffeine, logic told me that I was trying this scarf on to see if it would fit one of Meathead's(whose neck is like Mike Tyson's)little cousins or nephews. WRONG. The scarf was a gift for me to keep for being such a doll and helping "Stevie" out. Guess what I wore to the bachelor party I attended later that night!