Thought melange

I love driving under bridges while a train is traveling overhead.

The only thing more disturbing than seeing your father laying upside down on a leather chair in his briefs with unopened mail all over him is watching him eat meat off a bone in the backyard the following morning.

My overweight pitbull has at least twenty different nicknames and he's perfected the art of making his farts sound like a human's.

I haven't cried in a very long time.

Alligators can't walk backwards.

How is it that one day I'm in a state of total bliss and another I feel like I'm below the ocean floor?

It drives me crazy when I see anyone wearing a belt miss a loop.

I have friends in jail, some for murder.

Sometimes I don't go outside for days at a time.

Apparently my Uncle Pat is moving to South Carolina :(

Paris Hilton is nauseating.

Can someone please explain to me what an "18 hour" bra is?!

People either love me or hate me and sometimes it's one then the other.

There's something not right about grown men eating ice cream cones.

My heart holds a tremendous amount of love for a lot of people although I don't always show it.

Television rots your brain.

Is the term "Americanized" a synonym for money hungry and overweight?

There is a lot that I've left out.